She has cancer, my mum said.
That word, the other C-Word. The one that automatically means death. Except you rally and you grasp for all the positive news articles you’ve read and you repeat niceties like, “they can do amazing things these days”.
Reality check.
She actually has terminal cancer and that is what we have to deal with. “Inoperable” is the word the health professionals use.
So that is it, my mothers brothers wife, my Aunty, is dying.
The woman who used to cut my hair, because my mum was too nervous to do so, the woman at whose house I used to run around with my two boy cousins, and create as much chaos a possible, the woman who was always so pleased to see me on my frequent and extended holiday visits, the woman who used to make it clear her house was my house, and took me into her family when staying at home wasn’t practical due to mum’s hospital stay (baby on the way) and Dad’s work, (commentating on the Royal Jubilee.) OK that was only for a few weeks of the summer, but to me, she has always been a solid and comforting family centre, especially in comparison to our peripatetic lifestyle.
They, the extended family are of solid, farming stock, they are based in one country, one county and they are happy there. It can’t be a coincidence that she has been at the centre of that.

Now she has been checked out at hospital for an unrelated problem and at only 60 has been told she has cancer in three points, one of which alone would be a scary prospect.

I am slightly in awe of their family. So centred, so solid in the county they were born and grew up in, living within 50 km of where born and grew up, some within 10 km.
I used to use it as a story to describe the difference between us and them. Us, travellers – wanderers, no real home, where-ever we lay our hat type of people, free spirits I used to think.
Now, seeing how we all rally, seeing how their friends and neighbours rally, seeing how we are reacting with my family flying in from far flung places I wonder who has had it right in terms of lifestyle.
My Uncle quietly says – “you will come won’t you? You will drop in?” yes I will, I will come, to honour this lady who is a fundamental part of that foundation that allows me to travel, to explore, to go away and come back, knowing the core are still there.
We will lose a key part of our lives in the next couple of years.
But as she says, “Living life to the Full, for now”.
No tears, just building memories.